[15 Jul 2005|01:09am]

Here is a little poem about a cat. Here is a little poem about how I love you. These are little things I want to say to you in our little someday house. In your last email you capitalized "I" once. Just once, and perfectly. For the past month, everytime I masturbate I cry. I am scared of moving to SC. I feel it is stupid to tell you these things. I feel I should backspace backspace backspace, three sentences away. Tonight I told a woman, "Your tattoo is beautiful," to which she replied, "Is this a very good shower cream?"

I am scared of moving to SC because it is the first time it will only be me. The first time I was tucked away in my dorm, the second tucked away in a relationship, and the third tucked away to get back on my feet. I am scared of mostly money. I am scared of rent, I am scared of tuition, I am scared of electricphonehealthinsurancecellcarnotec

ableinternet. I have enough, but I will never have enough. I will be ok, I will never be ok. I should not tell you this. I should not tell you these miniscule things. You who have been through more. Is that not what you were saying? Is that not what you were saying that night after the wedding. That night you said that everyone's life problems seemed so small compared to what you have been through. I should not tell you my miniature worries. Sometimes I refuse to acknowledge crying. Here I am washing dishes, I am not crying. Here I am writing an email, I am not crying. Here I am driving to work, I am not crying. There are onions, there are onions, there are onions.

[08 Jul 2005|10:54pm]

Name the last four things you bought: gas, skirt, necklace, dress

Name four drinks you regularly drink: water, sam's choice sugar free strawberry drink mix, sam's choice sugar free grape drink mix, coke zero

Last time you cried? waking from my 3am nightmares

What's in your CD player?



What's under your bed? old issues of Interview

What time did you wake up today? 9am

Current hair?



Current desktop picture? kitty

Current worry? my face is so hot, why is my face so hot, it is burning

Current hate? my face is so hot

Favorite place to be? in his head

Least favorite place to be? in my head

If you could play an instrument what would it be? but i can play an instrument

Favorite color? green

How tall are you? 5'6

Where would you like to go? away, far far away

Where do you want to live when you get married? in a house with a yard and a baby and mysteriously peeling paint

Favorite food?

Color of most clothes you own? black

Number of pillows you sleep with? one, just one

What do you wear when you go to sleep? shirt, panties

What were you doing 12am last night? talking

How old will you be in ten years? 33...

What do you think you'll be doing in ten years? taking a bath

Are you paranoid? yes

Do you burn or tan? neither

What is the brand of your wallet? it says 'John Weitz'

Last thing you ate? peanut butter

Last time you had sex? may

[07 Jul 2005|02:46pm]

today i ordered this dress:



i have to go into work at 8pm for a floorset.

until then the plan for the day is to:

-order dress
-do pilates dvd
-wash dishes
-clean bedroom
-wash sheets
-vacuum box
-clean off desk
-make folders for acceptance letters/schools
-change cat litter
-work on zine

[02 Jul 2005|09:41pm]

i just ate an entire box of YOGURT FLIPZ (strawberry swirl) plus one bag of kettle corn popcorn by myself.

[02 Jul 2005|05:28pm]

i bought a tshirt from threadless.com

i got accepted to:

university of south carolina
simmons college
clarion university
domincan university
wayne state university

i am going to be a librarian.

i want some chocolate mints.

in about two weeks, adam is coming to live with me for a month or two <3 <3

i am working on a new zine.

when i was little i would always watch this movie where jamie lee curtis was annie oakley.

annie oakley could really shoot.